Singer/Songwriter/Composer
I remember the favourite red dress with white polka dots that my six-year-old self proudly wore to church every Sunday, where I sang in the Crescent Beach United Church choir. At the age of ten, I taught myself to play the piano by looking at the diagrams in my sister's beginner piano books. The folks got very excited and thought I might be a prodigy, but I was bored by the lessons. A couple years later, I started sneaking into my brother's room when he was out, and taught myself to play his Eko Coronado 6-string acoustic guitar by reading chord diagrams in song books. I thought nobody knew of my secret musical passion until I opened a big huge box at Christmas & found the Coronado inside. Dad bought my bro's guitar for me. (I still have it, too.)
Soon I was writing my own folk songs. I played many school and church events, & even toured with my school choir and was featured in the concerts as a solo singer/songwriter. I also played the piccolo, flute, & trumpet in various school bands.
Even with all this success, I suffered from debilitating stage fright in all areas of my life. During my teen years I struggled with acute social phobia. A sensitive and naturally reticent soul, I integrated the message that I was unworthy of life and unworthy of love. My voice became almost inaudible, and people were always asking me to speak up. In conversations with people at work or in social situations, I stammered awkward replies to questions. I seldom initiated conversations. It seemed to me as though everyone else had life figured out. It seemed like everyone else knew what to do, and how to be, and what to say. I felt like an alien in a crowd of accomplished people. More than anything else, I wanted to be loved & accepted, but felt I didn't deserve it.
In the mid-70s, after dropping out of high school and leaving home, I found myself floundering. My belief in my own unworthiness and the lack of basic life skills led to a black time in my life, when I lost someone I loved more than anything else. Although I still grieved that loss, in an attempt to move forward, I went back to school in 1978 & got my high school equivalency. I attended university in Victoria & Vancouver, but the stress of working graveyard shifts as a waitress at night & attending classes during the day proved too much & I was unable to complete my degree. In 1981 I got my first office job with an insurance company & became a typical pink collar worker.
Then, when my three-year marriage ended in 1990, I took a long hard look at the life I had been leading. I realized that I was still living as though I was that wounded young woman, still pushing myself to live up to the expectations of those around me, contorting myself in order to buy their approval. I saw that the lack of music and creativity in my life had almost destroyed my spirit. I still grieved the loss of my youth, but I also desired to live more fully. It was time to become an artist, a creator, and -- perhaps even a singer.
Walking the path of discovering my voice again became a healing journey for me. My lessons were a form of music therapy. I learned that, if we acknowledge the place we are at, and trust, we can move forward. The work was challenging - as it required change. I began to experience the creative process, which requires passion, perseverance and commitment in the face of doubts, procrastination and past programming. Through this work, I was able to become a more fully actualized person.
My creative accomplishments have been and are motivated by a desire to rise above my programming, and grow into the person I wish I had been when I first left home in 1974. Today, as 'the shy singer', I am honored to be a mentor for others on the same healing path. I know we can never go back, but I hope we can forgive ourselves and blossom into the people we were meant to be.
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A classically-trained lyric mezzo-soprano, I studied privately (Italian method) with maestro Luigi Wood (1991-1996); German-Australian tenor Gerhardt Zeller (1996-2002); soprano Catherine Lewis (2004-2006); & soprano Barbara Livingston (2007-2009). I also coached with conductor Bliss Johnston; attended Master Classes with mezzo soprano Phyllis Mailing; & studied Jazz Improvisation & Performance with Gordon Clements.
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My musical credits include: Carmen, The Tempest, Lucia di Lammermoor (Pacific Opera Victoria), M'alachim (Western Concert Opera); The Magic Flute (Vancouver Academy of Music); Carousel, Brigadoon, La Cage aux Folles (Theatre under the Stars); Faust, Die Mutter (Theatrespace); Hair (Vancouver Musical Theatre); Kiss Me Kate (Victoria Operatic Society); Toad of Toad Hall (West Niner's/Ldn, Eng); and Puss & Boots (Metro Theatre).
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My work has been featured on CKRG 89.9 FM Radio Glendon; CKCU 93.1 FM Ottawa; 92.5 FM The X, Kamloops; CBC Radio 3; Free World Radio; Cygnus Radio's 'Goddess Radio' hour; Angelic Music podcasts; and I have been spotlighted on Len Amsterdam TV & Radio, Toronto. My songs have been released on three CDs: "Waiting for the Bus"; "Friends Around the World - World Peace Compilation"; and "Savary Spirit".
Speaking engagements: I have been interviewed for CBC Radio, World Talk Radio, and Artist-Edge on the topic of voice therapy for shyness. In 2008, I was invited to speak as a member of a ballroom panel called "Fear Factor: Removing the Roadblocks to Your Success" at a music conference (TAXI Road Rally). In 2009, I spoke at the TAXI Road Rally as part of a ballroom panel called "Writing Songs and Composing Instrumentals for Film & TV"; and I presented 'Creatively Managing Your Creative Time' as part of a breakout session called, "You Can Give the Industry What It Wants and Still Be Creative."
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Over the past year-and-a-half I've signed nearly sixty tracks to several music publishers and music libraries. I was signed as a composer to a prominent music library in the Fall of 2009.
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MEMBER: SOCAN, CARAS; TAXI, SONGU, The Center for the Promotion of Contemporary Composers (CPCC), Songwriter's Association of Canada, Victoria Songwriting Circle, Angelic Records & Just Plain Folks. I am an officer of Cornerstone Collective Records (CCR).